Sad but True?

When my late husband got really angry at me he would say “you sound just like your Mother.” AARGH! He knew how that upset me since I had spent my entire life trying to NOT sound like my Mother!

Is it still true? My mother had some totally charming traits but she did have a sharp tongue and wasted no time letting you know how she felt – especially if you did not please her. She could also be very negative and fear was one of her strongest suits. She actually thought people were hiding in the shrubs outside her door waiting to pounce. Unfortunately this everyday victim stance led to her being raped late in her life. At least I have read that you are more likely to be attacked like that when you show fear and she walked around in a bubble of fear.

I hope that in my life I have tried to emulate her more positive traits. One of these was that she was very aware of her looks and tried to always present herself in the most attractive way possible. One of her main goals was to “age gracefully”. Something I thought about every time I visited her in the nursing home and saw her in a wheel chair with her teeth out and her hair uncombed. She was extremely good at grammar and punctuation and taught me a great deal along those lines just by copying the way she said or wrote things. She was a good cook and learned a lot from her in the kitchen.

But I have tried diligently to be a more warm and fuzzy person reaching out with optimism and without fear, teaching my own daughters that they could do anything they chose ( and I was extremely successful there) rather than always saying “no you can’t do that”.

But I do assume that sometime when I am tired or angry and my guard is down that it is possible that I do still “sound just like my Mother” even though my dear husband is no longer here to tell me that.


About sophieA

Now is the time to write the truth........about the self........
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6 Responses to Sad but True?

  1. Diane Corriette says:

    It is sad when life is full of fear. I know both my parents lived their life that way and sometimes I wonder how the managed to get up the courage to leave the Caribbean and live in England. The good news for me is that they did.
    I, like you, have done a lot to ensure I break the pattern and provide a new outlook for my children. I am sorry to read about what happened to your mum.

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  3. I know the feeling of being compared to my mother! My hubby does the same… Unfortunately for him, he is very much like his father. Just don’t tell him that or he’ll throw a fit… & start listing reasons why he isn’t. But between you & me, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree!

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