A journey can be many things. It can be a literal trip to the grocery store or a figurative trip to paradise.
I am completing a journey and returning home tomorrow. I have never been on a journey like this one. I have been away from home for 29 days – a month – 4 weeks. And I have been in a different country. And I have been moving from one phase of my life more deeply into another. This phase change was thrust upon me by fate not choice. My husband of 20 years died and left me to live alone for the first time.
The early days after his death are still a blur in my mind. But I do know that every day I changed. Then for several months I moved along in sort of a limbo of grief and memory. This visit, it you would, to another country, another continent, has moved me much more rapidly into my new world. But I have been somewhat homesick – not so much for the days when my husband was here although that will be with me always. But homesick for a more familiar place. I think that living alone in this grief state is in and of itself enough of a challenge without throwing in a country with a different climate (I have missed a month of springtime) and 2 different languages. Difficult not to know what anything is or where you are if you can’t read the street signs or building sign, Being lost in the grocery store among shelves or items you can only try to identify by the picture on the cover is very difficult when you already feel lost in a new world.
BUT I think I did find here a kinship to people everywhere – especially women – and the needs and problems that women face all over the world. A new kinship with the world that hopefully I will become more entrenched in and more inspired as time goes by to use what resources I have left in my life to try to make some sort of difference in the world at large.
Stay tuned to see what new places I will go to next. Tomorrow I will return home and it too will be a new place because as every day – I am a new person.