Safe

A picture is worth 1000 words. This safe has been through a lot. Tell its story. Image credit: “safe” – © 2007 Paul Keller – made available under Attribution 2.0 Generic
Sometimes life takes you back to a place where you are safe. Back I say because as I recall my life I hadn’t felt safe since about 1966. Weird you say – well I guess I am old.

My first husband was somewhat violent..and about 1966 he threw a pair of his shoes through the wall of the bedroom in a tantrum. Needless to say I was surprised and alarmed and never again felt really safe until I left him in 1989. But then I found myself in dire financial straits – most of which was his fault – or it is easier to tell myself that anyway.

But eventually I met another man – the rest of my life until recently was somewhat of a struggle to keep him – although he never really showed concrete signs that he would not stay – but there was always a question there because he never seemed to be “in love” with me and I kept thinking that he would eventually fall in love with someone and leave.

He did leave – but not voluntarily per se. He died recently. Amidst great chaos related to wills and children and step children and debts and dogs – I have finally come to a place where I don’t feel afraid. Nothing to lose – enough to live on and no worries that some man will leave or that I need to somehow make one happy.

It is exuberant joy to be in this position. Although I miss my husband/companion and lover for the last 20 years – it is time after waiting since 1966 to feel safe again.

Safe in the lives of my own children, safe in my own home, safe and willing to experiment with owning my own real power.

Life is strange but here at this advanced age – there are lots of brand new places to go and in all of them I am SAFE!

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About sophieA

Now is the time to write the truth........about the self........
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